(Or How I, too, can use bad words to make shitty analogies and shittier polemics)

Despite what the title might implied to some of my pettier minded readers, this piece is not about a putative repression of the movement in blood, but more accurately about the inner genocide of the occupy movement, namely the Black Bloc Anarchists. Inner genocide because their continued participation in this movement will merely provide ammunition, nay, justify such a reaction from those in power. In addition to this terrible fate, which will be wholly deserved, I have also established three arguments as to why they should be evacuated from this movement.

First, this movement comes from Italy, a country which, as we all know, only knows fascism and socialism, both of which are wholly foreign to the conscience of the true american soul. In fact, I have it on good authority that they were initially a terrorist government bent on subverting Milan to deliver it as a birthday gift for Krustchev’s 80th birthday, but thankfully a combination of nature, our boys, and our good italian government friends ensured that this was not to be.

Secondly, as many a psychologist friend has told me over canapes during one of our cocktail nights to celebrate our intellectual and political superiority, the black bloc anarchists are also institutionally and pathologically insane. They suffer from a terrible psychosis known as fenestrophobia, which is not unheard of, really, considering they also hold anti-liberal political positions, a clear sign that not everything is right in their heads to begin with. Sadly, there is no real cure, for their political fantasies require the elimination of representative democracy, which is reprehensible, and of property and the state, which as we all know is wholly impossible, and thus clearly even more insane.

The last, and I dare say not the least, is their complete, utter disregard for the good morals of society. Here I do not mean their already discussed fenestrophobia, but their strange cults. It’s a little known fact, but I have been able to ascertain it through extensive research, and the primary reason these vile radicals are clad in black from head to toe is not merely to conceal their political activities from the law, but their religious activities too. As part of their origins in Italy, they also adhere to a distorted version of the ancient roman religion. More specifically, they believe primitivist author John Zerzan to be an avatar of their god Bacchus, who their worship by having strange Bacchanaliae in the woods of the pacific north west, where they ritually slaughter pigs by tearing them apart by hand. The more festive such ceremonies literally have what they consider the true pigs, that is, officers of the peace, who are ritually slaughtered in the same gruesome manner. The black clothes are not merely so that it washes easier, but to make it harder to identify these cultists once in polite society.

Which is why I insist, adamantly, that if the black bloc anarchists are not purged, we will face wholly justified violence from the government. 

(Stepping out of character, there are many problems I have with black blocs, like the fact that they are unorganized, lack tactical awareness, are completely divorced from the autonomist movement in North America and as such effectively defend nothing in particular, instead of the squats of Milan and West Berlin, etc, but nothing on the scale of being a shitstain calling for the heads of comrades in public)

fuckyeahdmitrihvorostovsky:

writers-cock-block:

I can’t wait to go to Italy and find out how Italian people translate this, because I have never been able to translate it to something that doesn’t sound like he’s singing about masturbating. 

Anyone? Anyone?

Knowing Lorenzo da Ponte, that’s probably intentional.